lolololololol YOURE A JOKE.
lolololololol YOURE A JOKE.
Apparently my summer freckles are ‘sexy as hell.’ Too cute, haha (:
I’m incurring crazy debt for this for real
All I want is guyava, crackers and coffee. Let me go back to the DR :’(
After that day, we just continued to grow. It was kinda inappropriate, especially when we look back on the circumstances we allowed it to grow on. Before I told you, you’d wake me up in the middle of the night maybe once a week to talk. As the the weeks waned on, the number steadily increased to every night.
It was pretty adorable, you were all hesitant and cautious. I was just laughing and picking at little things you’d say. We transitioned into Skype sessions several days later,
To say I was blown away would be an understatement.
Gorgeous, funny and pulled me in with a single glance. I always talk about your eyes because they’re so expressive. I can feel every emotion you’re experiencing before you even verbalize it. It’s one of the greatest things I’ve ever had the opportunity of witnessing.
We both know that this isn’t always the epitome of rainbows and unicorns.
We fit together amazing, you’re everything I’m not and everything I wish to be. My Yin of my Yang, the stars to my sky. You just complete me. But you can also just absolutely obliterate me.
I remember, I was especially pissed about this was the night I had my Chem final. (I believe that was the first major time you ran from me also) So instead of getting the seven hours I had planned on getting and having an hour to review before the class, I slept until two hours and got no morning review done. In fact, I remember speeding down Hillsborough on my bike trying to get there on time. I took the final, aced it thankfully, but was torn for the rest of the day. I felt like a piece of me had left, I was no longer complete. Remember earlier in the week I mentioned how I was numb and incomplete? It was because I hadn’t found you yet. FYI: I’m gonna give you shit for that time above (and one other occurrence) for a very long time.
But yet, I came back to you. Why, people may wonder?
Because I am irrevocably in love with you.
It had to be a day in earlyish June. It was before my finals, but definitely after a test. I’m going to assign the date to June 8, 2012.
You know, I feel like a terrible person sometimes for my scheming. I totally knew that what I said to you would affect you in a sense. It was awfully selfish but I don’t regret a single word I uttered.. or fumbled upon.
I was pissed that week. Absolutely enraged. I had finally accepted the fact that you meant something to me. That I had feelings for you. That I wanted you. Even if I was in school still for one more year until I returned back to New York, I still thought you were worth it.
And apparently worth making a fool of myself for.
So I made a plan with the boys that we were going to go find ourselves a couple of cases of Corona, eat some food, go out to dinner and do our thing. We played our stupid drinking games, I wound up in a damn lake, and they had tricked me into losing as much as possible with one stupid game that I can’t even recall the name of. Only Jules was aware of one particular part of that plan that no one else knew about.
You see, the night prior, I went to him seething about “our just friends, you know” agreement. Absurd. So I told him, I was going to do something about it. I don’t fight for things unless I really want them. If they’re not worth my time, I will let them go without a seconds hesitation. So the drunker we got, as usual the more obnoxious and outgoing I got. I worked up the courage to tell you I had to talk to you tonight.
You said you’d try.
I remember throwing my phone across the restaurant table, effectively done with the conversation until further notice. I scarfed down my food and tried to call you an hour later. You couldn’t talk. So I typed it out, all of my words flying through the air. Every emotion I had felt in the moment, how you were making the biggest mistake, how you and I…I tapered off at that thought. It didn’t matter if you couldn’t reciprocate. You needed to know:
How I had fallen from the tops of the California Redwoods for you.